Fears

As I've sat down to begin this blog, I notice that I've been attacked from the start by a number of fears.  The kind of fears that often keep me from writing: What will people think of me?  Do I really have anything to say?  Will it be really boring?  Haven't my friends heard enough from me by now?

In addition, trying to write about our upcoming move, a lot of other fears come up:  Will friends think we're abandoning them?  What if we don't like living in the Bay Area?  What if we don't get enough work around my schooling, and we can't afford it?  Will my friends who don't have similar spiritual views feel betrayed?  What if the stress of all this tears us apart?  And many, many more.

My best answer to all of these is:  I'm trying to listen to my gut.  Even through the fears, it seems to say that this is the right thing to do.  Enough inner and outer clues have converged that I feel strongly about attending seminary, attending PSR specifically, and making this move.  Enough people have offered confirmation that they think this is a good path for me, too - a valuable thing, as we humans are generally pretty good at deluding ourselves.  Or at least, I know I am!

As for the blog:  It was my idea, and I feel strongly about making my life more of an "open book" than it's sometimes been (like when all those fears carry me away).  There's only one way from here to there, which is to learn as I go.  So, here is an attempt to face down my fears and do that.